Peter Levine calls the places we can go to in our body when processing trauma; islands of safety. In the stormy waters of trauma, it is easy to feel like you’re drowning in awful and frightening sensations when you start reconnecting with your body, which is why you need these islands of safety. Not only do they give you some respite from feeling dreadful, they also help you to discharge any trauma as they enable you to stay with it, bit by bit (called titration) so you can release it. See my previous post explaining the steps of pendulation in more detail.
In other words, these islands are your internal resources and this feels very empowering as they will continue to grow the more you learn to locate them and, as any traumas release, these islands will become larger and join up so your body will feel like a safer place to inhabit. If you can’t locate a place of relaxation, calmness or neutrality inside your body, use your external resources instead. This could be the presence of a kind friend, the warmth of a hand on your arm (or your own hand), music, a pet, a sunset, whatever allows you to pendulate between your pain and that resource. This will enable you to connect internally as you begin to feel stronger.
Sometimes when we’re tapping, we can tap with the intention of wanting to get rid of something. Now there’s nothing wrong with that and before you tap on any issue itself, you’re better off tapping on wanting to get rid of it first. Being totally and utterly honest always works better with EFT and you will see results much faster. Using exercises like pendulation along with tapping through any difficulties/frustrations you experience can work wonders in my experience.