Monday, October 28, 2013

I am enough

A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don't function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick ~ Brené Brown

Feeling acceptable, wanted, worthy, enough and feeling that you belong are all related. And it starts with our caregivers right at the beginning of our lives. The question is can you feel this way even if your parents didn't want you, found you unacceptable or didn't think you were worthy? 

When we love and accept ourself it is impossible to make someone else feel unworthy, undeserving or unacceptable. You didn't know it as a child, but these issues weren't yours. Whatever we believe becomes our truth, even if it isn't true. Try tapping on these phrases and make sure to change them to suit you.

Even though I don't feel that I am enough, I accept how I feel

Even though I don't feel I belong, I accept myself anyway

I need ... to feel that I'm enough

I need ... to feel that I belong

I need ... to feel acceptable

I need ... to feel accepted

It feels possible to feel I belong

It feels possible that I can be enough

I am worthy of ...

I am not worthy of ...

The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect ~ Brené Brown

Monday, October 21, 2013

Freedom from emotions

I think there are some misconceptions as to what emotional freedom really means. It does not mean freedom from emotions, it means the freedom to feel emotions without any shame, anger, guilt or any other barrier that prevents us from fully feeling them.

Any emotion (or anything or anybody for that matter) can have an energetic charge for us. It is that charge that we are looking to dissolve with EFT so we can have freedom or peace around whatever it is. We will still remember it, but it doesn't have any charge for us. That's real emotional freedom, or peace.

You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level ~ Eckhart Tolle

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

What are you used to?

Whatever you're used to will feel comfortable. If you're used to being criticised and disrespected you might feel uncomfortable if someone treats you well. You might find yourself pushing that person away, because you just can't handle someone being nice to you.

In that sense, love, kindness or respect might feel like a "negative" thing in your life. Even though you desperately want these things, you can't let them in, you can't let yourself be loved because you don't want to be hurt, again, or you might feel you just don't deserve to be loved or cherished. Any emotion will feel "negative" if we don't allow it to pass through, in and out. Just like we do with our food. We become emotionally constipated when we don't allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully.

Until you deal with your hurt and pain you will find it nearly impossible to forgive. I believe there is too much emphasis on forgiving in the spiritual literature. Give yourself a break and deal with you for the time being. If you're not ready or willing to forgive, it simply means you are still hurting. Take that seriously, respect and trust yourself enough to know that there is more you need to heal. Take your time and be patient and kind with yourself. When you've healed your hurts, you won't even need to forgive, you'll just accept things the way they are, or the way they were. Accepting something however does not mean putting up with it.

I love the quote below, because you have to trust and respect yourself enough to know what is unacceptable for you. It all comes down to what you know to be true. And that knowing comes with trusting yourself and your feelings. If you don't feel your feelings, you won't be able to learn to trust them.

Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable ~ Denis Waitley

Thursday, October 03, 2013

What to tap on?

In my experience there is absolutely no point in tapping (or doing any emotional work) if you are not going to be as honest as you possibly can. At least with yourself.

Many times I hear the question "Why do we tap on the negative?" and I wince. Why is feeling sad or angry or fearful "negative"? It might certainly feel that way. But there is probably a very good reason as to why you feel that way in the first place. When we block our emotions and don't feel them, they feel "negative".

What I know for sure is fighting or resisting the way we feel keeps us stuck. So do yourself a favour and tap on the TRUTH of how you feel. There is no better way to correct the short circuit in our energy systems that can create so much havoc, heartbreak and exhaustion. You will feel enormously relieved when you tell the truth and tap on it. Even if only to yourself.

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off ~ Gloria Steinem