Monday, October 01, 2012

Don't dwell on it ...

This sentence for me has to be one of the most useless things I've ever heard, it's a bit like saying to someone who is very depressed 'cheer up'! It's usually what people say to you to when they are sick of hearing about your story, yet again.

If there are unresolved issues from your past and they are causing you stress (which they usually do without fail), and in trying to resolve them you are in the habit of 'repeating yourself' in your actions, your words, your habits and feeling and thinking patterns, it's time to resolve them, for you.

There is one saying that I've seen a lot lately, which is:

If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present ~ Lao Tzu

I like it when things are kept simple, but the sentiments expressed here are too simplistic for me and even a little smug if I'm being totally honest. I agree with Louise Hay (You Can Heal Your Life) when she says that “the point of power is in the present moment”, because that's the only place we can start from. I find it a lot more empowering than some of the sayings and philosophy going around about 'being in the moment' and so on. Many statements and philosophies lack an empathy and understanding for what many people are going through, in the present. The truth is, most of us want to move on, we just don't know how. It has also been shown that with trauma, memories are not processed for long term storage, so they are always there so to speak, in our short term memory, ever present, awaiting the time for us to fully experience them so we can resolve them. Try some of the following phrases to tap on (EFT short cut diagram and procedure):

Even though others want me to stop dwelling on ... and that makes me feel ... I completely accept how I feel

Even though I can't stop thinking about ... I am open to this being resolved

Even though I feel like a broken record ... the truth is I haven't dealt with ...

Even though I can't seem to move forward and that makes me feel ... I accept myself anyway

The curious paradox is, when I accept myself exactly as I am, then I can change ~ Carl Rogers

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