Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Being sensitive

Have you ever been called too sensitive, too nervous, too highly strung, too many feelings, too deep, too analytical, too, too, too …?! While being sensitive has its advantages, it's also difficult being “too” sensitive. Sometimes we feel like we feel too much and we'd like to be able to switch our self off sometimes!

I switch off when I become aware and silent. In Italian, the word for sensitive is “sensibile”, which means 'to be aware of'. Being aware of others, our self, nature, music, beauty, art, being kind to our self and others, treating others as we would like to be treated is being sensitive. Being sensitive does not mean fixing everyone, being responsible for everything and everyone, absorbing others' energies, feeling depleted, feeling bad, feeling overwhelmed, feeling too much of everything and anything!

I think everyone has the capacity to be sensitive, it is a sign of emotional health to be aware of you, others and what is around you. My belief is that being highly sensitive, as it is generally understood, is, in fact, an overloaded and overwhelmed nervous system. Common signs of being considered highly sensitive are hypervigilance, anxiety, nervousness, digestive problems, restlessness, sleeplessness, anger/rage etcetera. These signs are strong indicators, not of being sensitive, but of undischarged traumatic imprints on the nervous system. Energy that the nervous system generates to deal with threat to the organism's survival, and, for whatever reason, is not able to release and discharge, is called the freeze response. It is this frozen energy or imprint that causes these symptoms and that gives rise to people being called highly sensitive.

Image taken from Peter Levine's website: http://www.traumahealing.com/images/pptSlide01.gif

Many highly sensitive people suffer from chronic conditions like IBS, CFS, depression, anxiety, autoimmune conditions and so on because of these repressed or unconscious imprints on the nervous system. Trauma expert, Dr Robert Scaer calls these, “dis-eases of the freeze response”. A dis-ease means a lack of ease. One of the most defining characteristics of being termed highly sensitive is a lack of ease. There is a nervous energy that always seems to be humming away in the background, and which can, very easily, be triggered into a 'bigger' response. There are no reserves or what is termed resilience in the nervous system. It's all just too much and the person often feels overwhelmed by what others can usually take in their stride.

Highly sensitive people can be considered “weak” “soft” “pathetic” and “cry babies”. They are often shamed and criticised for their “over the top” responses, so they swallow and stuff many, if not all, of their needs, experiences, feelings, thoughts to keep “it all in” and contained, so as not to feel so overwhelmed or criticised by others. So, an already overloaded nervous system becomes more overwhelmed and eventually this excess undischarged energy may manifest, and usually does, as there is nowhere else for the energy to go, in dis-ease. EFT helps this frozen energy soften and move so it can be discharged from the overwhelmed nervous system. Tapping diagram.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Using EFT with patterns

Each child is an adventure into a better life - an opportunity to change the old pattern and make it new ~ Hubert H. Humphrey

Try this script for anything that keeps showing up in your life. We repeat patterns, or re-enact them to resolve them, but what often happens is they don't get resolved and the repetition of certain events and feelings make us even more sure that they are 'true'. What we need are the proper resources and skills to dissolve patterns that no longer work, and we can learn how. Customise this script to your unique situation and how you feel. Tapping diagram.

Even though this ... keeps coming up, I accept how I feel

Even though I keep repeating ... maybe this pattern has a message for me

Even though I'm sick of being on this merry go round and can't seem to get off, I still accept and love myself anyway

TH I want to heal
EB I'm willing to heal
SE This pattern
UE It keeps repeating
UN And I don't know why
UC Sometimes it feels like it's there to ...
CB And that feels ...
UA I want ...

TH I'm so tired of ...
EB It won't go away
SE I'm resisting it
UE I have to
UN Because ...
UC Why is it here?
CB To punish me?
UA To prove I'm bad?

TH Maybe not
EB Maybe I'm repeating this pattern for another reason
SE To find resolution
UE For what needs to be resolved
UN Because it still hurts
UC And it needs healing
CB Maybe that's why it keeps repeating
UA How can I bring healing to this?

TH By feeling my pain
EB And not avoiding it
SE Or denying its existence
UE To become quiet
UN And pay attention
UC To what needs healing
CB To what needs resolving
UA That feels good

Friday, April 23, 2010

A Child's True Needs by Alice Miller

Excerpt taken from The Drama of Being a Child: The Search for the True Self ~ Alice Miller.

1. The child has a primary need from the very beginning of her life to be regarded and respected as the person she really is at any given time.

2. When we speak here of 'the person she really is at any given time,' we mean emotions, sensations, and their expression from the first day onward.

3. In an atmosphere of respect and tolerance for her feelings, the child, in the phase of separation, will be able to give up symbiosis with the mother and accomplish the steps toward individuation and autonomy.

4. If they are to furnish these prerequisites for the healthy development of their child, the parents themselves ought to have grown up in such an atmosphere. If they did, they will be able to assure the child the protection and well-being she needs to develop trust.

5. Parents who did not experience this climate as children are themselves deprived; throughout their lives they will continue to look for what their own parents could not give them at the appropriate time - the presence of a person who is completely aware of them and takes them seriously.

6. This search, of course, can never fully succeed, since it relates to a situation that belongs irrevocably to the past, namely to the time right after birth and during early childhood.

7. A person with this unsatisfied and unconscious (because repressed) need will nevertheless be compelled to attempt its gratification through substitute means, as long as she ignores her repressed life history.

8. The most efficacious objects for substitute gratification are a parent's own children. The newborn baby or small child is completely dependent on his parents, and since their caring is essential for his existence, he does all he can to avoid losing them. From the very first day onward, he will muster all his resources to this end, like a small plant that turns toward the sun in order to survive.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Philosophy of Positive Health ~ Dr John Diamond

Excerpt from holistic psychiatrist Dr John Diamond's website.

Five of the primary tenets upon which Dr. Diamond’s approach to positive health are:

1. The critical importance of the reduction of stress and the balancing of the concomitant emotional attitudes. Disease is seen as arising from stress that causes a general reduction in Life Energy and specific energy imbalances throughout the body.

2. The essential role of primary prevention — prevention before pathological change, either mental or physical. At this early stage the energy imbalances may be described as fluid or dynamic and readily amenable to correction. If the stress is prevented, if the mental attitudes are changed, then primary prevention will be possible.

3. The individual's responsibility for taking charge of his own health and his own way through life. In this context the role of the so-called doctor is that of teacher — to explain and to help the individual to see exactly what he is doing to lower his own healing energies. The individual has superimposed maladaptive behavioral patterns upon himself which have pulled him away from his natural, "normal" state, and he must recognize and alter them.

4. That great healing forces exist within us and in nature to enable repair to occur once the stress is reduced and the negative attitudes are corrected. It is recognized that natural methods are essential since unnatural methods often diminish Life Energy. While these unnatural methods may provide symptomatic relief, they ultimately lower the Life Energy, retard the true healing process, and ignore the stress and the attitudinal problems that are at the base of the disease patterns.

5. That most problems begin at an energy level. The first physical manifestation of imbalance within the body is at an energy level and corrections can be made at this level. On top of this are the metabolic, environmental, structural and nutritional problems that also require attention.

When a man is perfect in his own nature, body, and soul, perfect in his harmonious adaptations and action, and living in perfect harmony with nature, with his fellow-man and with God, he may be said to be in a state of Health. The broad philosophy of Life Energy enhancement includes as a goal the achievement of positive health. To assist in achieving this, one is taught the insights and understandings and the methods of preventive medicine, including nutrition, psychological insights, bioharmonics, and psychoaesthetics. Psychoaesthetics is a field of work in which Dr. Diamond has developed techniques for assessing the effects of works of art, poetry, music, architecture, craftsmanship, body movement and dance, gesture and posture on the physical, mental and emotional functioning of the individual. In addition, there are techniques for stress reduction via the aesthetic experience.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I am ~ Lahn Jung JuLes


This guest post is by my gentle and kind friend Lahn. She is multi talented as you'll soon see for your self. Her diverse and amazing work can be seen at her website http://www.sinus-allergy-care.com

Bio ~ Lahn Jung JuLes graduated with honors from Hypnosis Motivation Institute. In addition to being a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, she is a Certified Practitioner of Master Guided Imagery, Neuro Linguistic Programming and Timeline Therapy. She integrates these modalities to create lasting, positive, and effective changes in her clients. Lahn enhances her approach to hypnotherapy with knowledge and skills gained from a diverse personal and professional background. She is bilingual and bicultural Korean-American. Lahn has worked as a graphic artist, minister, translator, and teacher.

In her words ~ "It took a while but I've learned to acknowledge and embrace all emotions. I no longer feel the need to judge different flavors of emotion as bad or good, negative or positive. I am less compelled to deny or resist what feels unpleasant or uncomfortable. They are fleeting inner states. To quote Rainer Rilke, "Let everything happen to you, beauty and terror, no feeling is final." There is a great freedom in that. When I allow my emotions to come and go with equanimity, I am able to free myself (as much as possible) from the oft-distorted subjective filter through which I process my experiences. And out of that openness and acceptance of 'what is', my authentic communication and connection with others take place.

Visual art is one of my most potent, efficacious means to experience, express, and ultimately release my emotions. My artwork integrated with words and music in this video follows that path of self awareness and healing."




Allow your self to feel whatever it is you feel. Judging, criticising, stuffing, avoiding stops the flow and energy becomes stuck. Try this EFT script for allowing your feelings.

Monday, April 12, 2010

The power of attention and EFT

Put your attention on anything that bothers you and tap. The very act of paying attention and noticing what happens will move the energy. Keep putting your attention on whatever it is and say "I am paying attention to ..." on all the points and watch what happens. When we simply pay attention and follow what our energy and physiology do, great things can happen. Many people tap with the intention of getting rid of something, or 'tapping it away' which very often does not work and leads to great frustration and a sense of being stuck. Tapping diagram.

Love arises when attention is absolute ~ Silvia Hartmann

Deepak Chopra on Awareness, Attention and Intention

Friday, April 09, 2010

EFT tapping script for pain

You can use this script for emotional or physical pain. Make sure to customise it and use words that have meaning for you. This really helps you tune in to how YOU feel. Listen and tap along, find the EFT shortcut tapping diagram here. Tapping continuously on the karate chop or rubbing the sore spot, state, out loud:

Even though I have this pain, I accept it with all my heart

Even though I want to avoid this pain and I do all sorts of things to distract myself from feeling it, I love and accept myself anyway

Even though this pain is painful, I completely accept how I feel

TH This pain
EB It's painful
SE It's there
UE And that's okay
UN No, it's not
UC It's there whether I like it or not
CB I'm paying attention
UA To the pain

TH It's changing
EB It feels softer
SE It's moving
UE That's interesting
UN I'll watch where it goes and what it does
UC I'm paying attention to this pain
CB And it feels okay to do that
UA I'm observing this pain

TH This pain still feels hard
EB That's okay
SE I'm still watching and listening for what it wants to do next
UE This ... pain
UN It feels ...
UC I'm still observing this pain
CB And whatever it is doing
UA I'm still listening ...

TH It feels like I have to resist this pain
EB Because ...
SE I accept how I feel about that
UE I accept how I feel about this pain
UN I feel the way I feel
UC I want to avoid feeling all of this pain
CB Maybe I can hear some of what it wants to say
UA And feel some of what this pain feels like, just a small bit ...

Keep tapping until you feel a shift and relief. Pay attention to what comes up as you tap.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Authentic Power VS External Power

LOVE

FEAR

Intimacy

Power struggle

Vulnerable

Emotionally closed

Compassion

Right, righteous

Open heart

Walled off

Co-operative

Controlling

Win win

Win at all costs

Shares

Territorial

Self responsible

Blames others

Open to intuition

Closed to intuition

Harmony

Discord

Co-creation

Competition

Wants to heal

Avoids pain

Faces fear

Resists fear

Creates authentic power

Seeks external power

Integrity

Lack of integrity

Self aware

Self concerned

Spiritually growing

Spiritually stagnant

Detached from outcome

Attached to outcome

Changes inner world

Rearranges outer world

List taken from Seat of the Soul Institute by Gary Zukav. Tapping diagram. Try these set up statements and repeat whatever word or phrase that feels right on all the points.

Even though I have a need to be right, I choose to have compassion for that need

Even though I can't be wrong because … I accept myself anyway

Even though I only feel in control when I control, I accept my need to control and choose to have compassion for that need

Even though I avoid pain because it's too painful, I choose to heal anyway

Even though I blame others (and myself), it's easier than looking at and feeling what is within, I choose to exercise my ability to respond in the moment instead

Even though I resist feeling fear, I choose to heal and have compassion and kindness for all my fears instead

Even though I keep falling into the trap of seeking external power, I choose authentic personal power instead

Even though I believe rearranging my outer world will give me a sense of … I choose to heal and change my inner world instead

Even though I feel attached to the outcome because … I choose to detach easily and effortlessly from the outcome, I choose to trust that all is well

Even though there is discord in my life, I choose harmony instead

Even though it feels safer to wall myself off sometimes, I choose to open my beautiful heart

Even though I feel powerless, I accept how I feel

Even though I have a need to control, I choose to cooperate with all parts of me instead

Monday, April 05, 2010

25 EFT tapping scripts

25 free EFT Tapping scripts on anger, guilt, wanting to get rid of something, developing self trust, feeling stuck, intense memories, fear, pain, letting go, feeling overwhelmed and not feeling good enough. EFT Short cut diagram.

Thursday, April 01, 2010